Tomorrow is PET scan number one thousand three hundred seventy-two. Or eighteen. I’ve lost track.
Each scan for me has come with it’s own set of feelings and never has it been complete ambivalence. It has ranged from shaky, palm-sweaty anxiety to dull background anxiety. This time, it feels more like just below the surface, never far from thought, snap at people for no reason, numb-out by binge watching kind of anxiety.
This time of year, the juxtaposition of bright and merry and real and messy is always more apparent to me (for obvious reasons). So, I thought it felt appropriate to share my night before and day of PET scan experience with you all by putting it to everyone’s favorite Christmas poem.
‘Twas the night before PET scan and all through my mind Not a thought remained quiet, not of any kind. The appointment was made long ago with great care In hopes that the cancer would still not be there. The fears that were nestled all snug in my head Were now prancing with vigor and vision and dread. While others donned warm Christmas thoughts and bright cheer I settled into my angst and great fear. When from restless sleep I was rudely awoken. My alarm, the silence of dark morning had broken. I groggily readied and packed my red bag. Away to the train I flew without snag. The sun rising on fields barren from gleaning Gave way to grand buildings and streets that were teeming. I hurried ‘cross town my, tum vacant and growling Dodging big city buses, people running and strolling. When at last it appeared: Penn Cancer Center. The time was now here to take courage and enter. “Department of Radiology” came into frame I sat and I waited as they called each one by name: “Now Daisy! Now Dante! Now Piper and Vashti! On Charlotte! On Cooper! On Daniel and Ashley.” To X-ray! To CT! To MRI and PET Now good luck, good luck, good luck and don't fret!
Praying joy and merriment for you and also peace and strength, because we all need all of it during the holiday season.
For a child is born to us, a son is given to us.Isaiah 9:6-7
The government will rest on his shoulders.
And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
His government and its peace will never end.
He will rule with fairness and justice from the throne of his ancestor David for all eternity.