Finding beauty in a sea of weeds
In 2016 I received an invitation in the mail from Penn State Cancer Institute. Considering most of my mail from them up to this point was bills, scan authorizations and test results, I was unsure of what exactly I was holding It was an invitation to their annual Survivorship Celebration. It hadn't occurred to me … Continue reading Survivorship.
Hope is hard. Sometimes you hope in earnest for a soft place to land and get absolutely smashed on the rocks. I’ve found many soft landing spots over the last nine years in the sea of cancer. I’ve continued to hope, even amidst devastation and disappointment. That hope has in many ways sustained me. But … Continue reading Menopause and mysteries.
Today I cleaned all the floors in my house on my hands and knees. A bucket of hot, soapy water (changed out multiple times...those floors were disgusting), a rag and some elbow grease. Before you think this is some kind of weird humble brag about how clean my floors are, let me explain. This summer … Continue reading Floors.
Wow, it has been a while. The last post was Christmas-themed and now spring is fully bloomed in all it's shades of green and pink and pollen. But it's funny how seasons come and go and yet one thing remains - PET scans. But before I get to that, let me catch you up with … Continue reading Radioactive bonus time.
Tomorrow is PET scan number one thousand three hundred seventy-two. Or eighteen. I've lost track. Each scan for me has come with it's own set of feelings and never has it been complete ambivalence. It has ranged from shaky, palm-sweaty anxiety to dull background anxiety. This time, it feels more like just below the surface, … Continue reading ‘Twas The Night Before PET Scan
What my view looks like today: What I am imagining my view looks like today: Today is PET scan number 17 - I think. But to be honest, I am losing count! It has been a long time since I have updated via blog, so let me do a quick rundown of the last 6 … Continue reading Hawaii.
Time is such a strange thing. Some days I am sure that I'm fresh out of college, feeling like the world is my oyster and all my best days are still ahead of me. Some days I talk to my high school girls and I think "I get you girl, I was just there a … Continue reading Ageless.
‘Tis the season! Strings of twinkling lights, beautifully wrapped gifts under a sturdy (probably fake) tree, cozy fireplaces and the complications of figuring out how to celebrate this season amidst a global pandemic. Have you felt it too? Has the holiday season thus far felt underwhelming? Has it felt like going through the motions, but … Continue reading Christmas grief.
Change is a beautiful thing. It's all about your perspective. I was walking my girls to school this week. The temperatures have been wacky lately which has caused this crazy morning fog. It was a dank and dreary morning. Everyone was quiet on the walk, earbuds in, preparing for the day ahead. I brought up … Continue reading Change.
Should we start with the good news or bad news first? 2020 has essentially felt like nothing but bad news, so let’s start with the good. Today was my 14th PET scan - my third in the last six months. I think at this point I’m beginning to give off a subtle radioactive glow. On … Continue reading It’s Complicated.
Daring to Hope 